Written by: Mehwish Taj
Being a woman (that too in this part of the world) is one the most difficult tasks. Many would flat out say no and deny this, many if not all, will straight off brand it as another strike on the culture and our religion, but few of will definitely agree. Ironically, this “few” is a mere 50% of the total population of this country but the voice of this lot doesn’t really matter. A minor chunk of this 50% population may even disagree to this because the privileged ones don’t have to go through everything the majority has to go through, unfortunately.
Allow me to build my case! Let’s go back to the point where a girl is not even a part of this world. Yes, you get me right – I’m referring to the sex selective abortions that we hear every now and then! Just in case the baby survives till the post-partum stage, she’s thrown away in some garbage dump as if she belongs there only! Giving birth to a girl is an unforgivable crime and the only way out in most instances is to either abort or throw it away. If she survives either of the two situations, she’s always thought off as an inferior being in comparison to her brother(s) and the mother is always held responsible for giving birth to a girl (as if it were by her choice) – totally oblivious of the fact that females only have “X” chromosomes and the capacity to give birth to a girl or a boy lies within a male(Religious perspective: it’s God’s choice, above all).
Let’s go a step further, when that 3 to 5-year-old girl has had enough of the elder’s execrations for her existence, as if she’s in a jungle and all she has around her are predators, in the form of maternal and paternal uncles, neighbors, acquaintances, drivers, gardeners, servants, cousins and in some cases her own father. She’s vulnerable across her age, unless she reaches a mature age, when she has enough guts to speak about it and fight for what she thinks is wrong – by this time it’s often too late and all her confidence has shattered already. What next? She goes to school and college, in a very vulnerable age, bearing unrealistic fantasies in her mind about love, relationships, sex and what not. Predominantly, the burden of aberration lies on the parents’ shoulders who do not educate their kids (girls and boys, both)about the consequences and make such a huge taboo out of this that the younger ones indulge in these activities to “see” as to what lies at the other side of the thorny field.
Another step forward: most of the girls aren’t privileged enough to get to see a university, because “hamaray khandan kilarkiyan university nahi jati” because “naukri thori karani hailarki se”. They fail to understand that they’re depriving their off-springs from enabling themselves to live a better, independent and successful life. They’re inadvertently pushing their girls towards a life, laden with slavery where she’ll always be a second class citizen and a mere home-maker whose only job is to serve her husband’s family, manage the kitchen, laundry, home cleaning, that too without her free-will and no right to express her feelings, but to abide by what her husband’s family demands from her. She’s stripped off all basic human rights – as basic as having her own perspective and the only thing she is allowed to do on her own is breath as much as she wants! If not all of this, very rarely, if she makes it to the professional life, she’s subjected to sexual harassment at the work-place which itself is a monumental debatable topic.
Now who’s at fault here? It seems as if it’s our national hobby – blaming the government and circumstances. So please, let’s not even go there and that’s the easiest way out. Better have a deeper look at ourselves and our thought structure which in reality is faulty. It’s imperative that we understand the difference between what’s needed and what’s not – where do we over-do and where are we under-doing what we must do! The damage has already been caused, let’s not be the carrier of these wrong-doings any further, let’s break the chains, let’s be the change we want to see. It’s even more important now that we start accepting girls as equally important, girls are humans, they have feelings. We need to understand that we’re making them chase unrealistic and unachievable dreams and there’s no gain at the end of the tunnel. Remember, we’re stronger together – how can we not talk about 50% of our population? How can we progress without consuming 50% of our resources? It’s us to decide if we want to be inclusive or remain handicapped as ever. The choice is ours!
