Written by: Danial Alam Malik
I was breathing copiously. The thoughts were grabbing me away to a place which I don’t know. An infinite place. A crepuscular,hollow land. It feels as if I was a visitor to my own mind. Each vein in my body endure a thunder when those memories came striding past me and crashed with my thick red blood giving me an extraordinary non lively feeling. It felt everything was locked up around me and had wrapped me up in its blanket and was choking me to death. It felt as if I was in a cage which was all closed up with my thoughts and the key was somewhere hiddenwhich was a challenge for me to find out. My body gnawed antithetically when I flashbacked those days; those days when my soul was debilitated of all the untiring efforts made by me to keep everything under its control. But my serendipity had something else destined for me. The wounds were fresh and the scar that lied there was a shoddy pile of humanity. The nails crippled over each other moving away from their furnished place. My eyes welled up every time I was smoldering in those thoughts and every piece of me was vociferating me to stop this chaos that was running in my head. My lips creased in to a line, stapled by an illusion of sturdy thoughts which were paralyzing my tongue from blurting away the truth. My skin got paler and paler every day. It felt cold and chilly. Chills run down my spineand gave me thunder. It felt stupefied and twinge to be even touched. There was no heartbeat, no blood rushing. Everything stopped and turned bland. The thoughts and those words actedlike a whip on those very large legs that were striving to get up.These feelings usually develop when a person faces a trauma. This is what depression feels like. This is what depression is.
Depression is one of the prodigious problems faced by our youth. Not only we but also our folks and ancestors have been whining about it. The children who are the shimmering stars, those who are going to revamp the world’s system are currently scrimmaging depression. Despondent and scared nights with haunted memories chasing you everywhere you go has become a nuisance for our youth. The ones who need to build a better future are striving hard to get something in order to move their lives. Every thought is a battle. Every breath is a war but you are strong enough to pulverize all of it and shine like a new star.
Do you remember when you went through your hardest heartache? You were sure you would cry and get scared and throw a fit. And maybe you did, but you need to go off of it, stronger with every blink. Oh dear! You have got so much more in you than you think. You felt low and crestfallen and your life was sluggish. Everything seemed meaningless. But you need to gather yourself together and slowly let it peacefully sink because you have got so much more in you than you think.
I heard somewhere that people who ruminate about suicide don’t really want to culminate their lives. They just want to end their pain. And whilst ending their pain they take their life too. Currently those who are the victim of depression say that even when they are in a crowd they feel unescorted and helpless, even when they are screaming they feel tacit. Their words hunt them back like a predator catching its prey. They haunt them in the day light or even in the pitch darkness of night. Those thoughts penetrate in their body, piercing their skin. Everything is ensnarl and desecrate. The memories gush against their veins and their heart pumps wilder at each breath. They are present physicallybut not mentally.
We try to conceal our feelings but we don’t know that our eyes enunciate. The thing is that you just have to keep swimming no matter what and it is a promise that one day you will reach the shore. You have to plant the seed of confidence and bravery and courage in your heart to combat depression. You are one in a million. You know that you are breathing ashes and dust but one day these are going to extinguish the fire in you. You don’t need some compliments on your body or your face to make you feel how beautiful you are because you should know that you are captivating despite all of this. Your soul is crashing everyday against the shore line, the sand is entwining your legs, all you need is to see yourself from a new perspective each day and to believe that everything happens for a reason and each problem is making you stronger and more ravishing.
Remember even the sun and moon are different. One shines at the day and the latter at the night. Because they know that when it is their time to shine they will shine despite anything. Your body is a great canvas of art and you should be blessed to have it. You should craft your canvas elegantly. Add some charm and confidence to make an appealing potion of yourself. You should understand how loud silence can be. Beyond the shores of melancholy there is a door of jubilancy and the mouth holds the untold story that is willing to crash on land. But even being this lamentable should never stop you from wrestling because the words once inked cannot be expunge.
She tried to dry her tears. She tried to stop them from cascadingdown her cheeks. Yet still she cannot stop crying each night. Hear her sobbing at nights when the moonlight dances at the river ground, when the creaks of moonlight; grey and black bathe her room in muted moonlight, when the world is peacefully sleeping and she is the one awake and bawling over what the treasure of past had had for her. The tears had already smudged the words she had inked in her diary, they had alreadyclouded her vision and ruined her hope. But do not leave the words unspoken because they are also the living creatures. They can rot, decay and fester you from inside. They will become a weeping sore, a gory wound and they will never cease to gnaw and poison the blood rushing inside you.
Shakieb orgunwall said, ‘Midway between our hearts and our minds, lies is a place where decisions dwell. There they coalesce as lumps in our throats. And there do they die as unspoken words haunt our souls forever’. Depression bleeds in our soul, crushing and gushing against every vein that tries to keep together. Your lips tremble at every breathe your body exhales. At every instant your heart thumps a bit harder and tries to shut down those thoughts and bury them deep down somewhere, where u cannot look at them when u feel a visitor to your ownmind. All you need is a bit of philanthropy and adoration from this world and if you think this world is not giving you the best than try to find it in you. The love that you give to yourself is the remedy and cure to every problem. Put yourself before anyoneelse and try to believe in yourself because you have an awe inspiring personality and a heart of your own which in spite ofall breakdowns keep pumping inside your beautifully designed canvas which is carved to show that you are a masterpiece and an art of your own euphoria and glee.
Those who need to fight depression can use treatments such as cognitive behavioral therapy, psych education and interpersonal therapy in order to manage depression. Depression looks at you as if you are an ocean where it wants to drown. But remember alluring hearts are difficult to discover. Look at the thorn and see the rose, look at the sun and see the dawn for you know that time is needed for the crescent moon to become full. You are a firefly on a dark night fighting against your demons. You are a star that is willing to become a shooting star because when youbreak you become stronger. You are the moon changing shapes and patterns and making each of us believe that there is someone as winsome as you. You shine brighter than the entire constellation above. The scars you have on your body, the bad days you have faced, the stretch marks on your skin, and the injuries you got while trying to get up are the proof that you have been trying, those things are the proof that you are beautiful and that you are being loved.
