It’s easy to avoid dealing with disappointment altogether. One method is to avoid having expectations in the first place. But this isn’t realistic — picture having no thoughts or ideas about how things should or might go! Expectations are also beneficial to us in a variety of ways. So, how do we deal with the inevitable disappointment that will inevitably arise? Here are some constructive approaches to disappointment:
Understanding and Validating Disappointment:
Acknowledge that you’re experiencing disappointment. It’s tempting to ignore, minimize, or distract yourself from unpleasant feelings. But this can actually make these feelings more of a problem over time. Instead, acknowledging and naming a feeling (even doing this out loud!) can help you cope in a healthy way. Validating our emotions means accepting that they are present, and remembering that it’s ok to have those feelings. Emotions always happen for a reason.
Tolerating and “Riding the Wave” of Disappointment:
Have you ever tried making an emotion “just go away,” or even tried creating an emotion you don’t have? Either way, you likely know that things don’t work that way. Once we feel an emotion, that emotion is there until, well, until it fades or passes. In fact, all emotions, including disappointment, pass or fade with time. This happens regardless of how upsetting or uncomfortable they are at first. Sometimes this happens more quickly than others, and some feelings are intense while others less so. But they all do fade with time.
Keeping the Big Picture in Mind: Expecting and Accepting Life’s Disappointments:
Remembering that disappointment is just a part of life is another method to deal with it. There is no way to completely prevent it. Remember that disappointment is a reaction to expectations that aren’t met. As a result, if you expect a life free of disappointment, you may be disappointed. Accepting unfortunate events, regardless of your emotional reaction, can make things easier.
